: December 2020
Are you a People Pleaser?
First of all don’t confuse People Pleasing with being helpful.
We all like to help out when someone is in need; whether it’s family, friends, colleagues or in the community and especially with the year we have all had it’s heartwarming to hear stories of people helping others.
However People Pleasing especially describes those situations where you feel obligated and stressed about what other people think of you. How we view OPO’s (Other People’s Opinions) can have a powerfully negative effect on us.
In my experience talking with my clients, I have discovered that People Pleasing, relating to a job, relationships or social situation, is a big reason why so many suffer from anxiety, stress and depression.
The amount of energy it takes to remain in an environment or situation, for the sake of pleasing other people rather than our own well-being, is truly sapping.
Have a think. Have you experienced a similar experience? Or are you now facing this exact dilemma?
- Maybe you want to avoid a social situation with people that you don’t get on with or don’t have the same values as you?
- You could be in a job where you’re not appreciated or you don’t get enough training or support but you are afraid to leave because you think you will be letting your boss or family down?
- If you have just finished a year of studies you could have a realisation that you are no longer passionate about the area you are studying but afraid of what people will think if you change tack?
- Do you feel you just don’t have the confidence to make the changes you need in order to move forward with your life because of what others may think?
Deep down we all know what we should do, but taking that first leap of making that decision to do what’s in your heart can be scary on your own. Having the courage to do what’s right for you, without worrying about OPO’s, will alleviate the associated stress and anxiety, plus having a coach to support you in this will improve your chances of success.
If all the above sounds scarily familiar let me help you explore what situations you may be in right now, or have coming up, that could benefit from asking the question ‘Am I People Pleasing?’ and together we can work to clear the mind to other opportunities and move forward to a new you.